Strength
by Wingsfan
Summary: Casey and Olivia work through troubled times. Something's wrong but they can't figure it out.
1. prologue

Disclaimer : I don't own any of the characters, brand names and such. Just an active imagination. And a whole lot of time.   
  
* indicates emphasis on the word(s).  
  
Review is much appreciated, it's my first time attempting at fiction.  
  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Another day, another case solved. As the squad prepares to go home, Olivia slumps down into her chair instead.  
  
"Liv, you okay?" Elliot asked as he was about to step out of the room.  
  
"Yeah I'm fine. Just need some down time." Olivia answered rather impatiently.  
  
"You sure? 'Coz you look like you're about to crumble like a cookie there." Elliot was clearly worried about his partner.   
  
In the years of them working together, he has never seen her this way before. Whenever either one of them feel depleted or beaten down, they would cheer each other up. He sensed something was not right with his partner. Elliot was taking off his coat when Olivia stood up and got hers.  
  
"I'm fine, really. I'll see you next week. Say hi to Kathy and the kids for me will ya?" She said to Elliot, signaling the end of the conversation. "Have fun at your vacation." Olivia offered.  
  
As she watched her partner leave, her own thoughts overtook her, threatening to break down the invisible wall she had so carefully built around her.  
  
And so Olivia sat back down, trying her best to finish up the paperwork that's piling up on her desk. She looked at the clock ever so often, wondering when the others will leave. Why she was so occupied with the time, she didn't know. I know I'm waiting for something, but what?  
  
Finally giving up on the paperwork, she put on her coat and headed home. As she headed toward her car she couldn't help but think of the one person that she misses the most, Alex. It's been 10 months and still no word from her. Olivia wondered briefly if she was still alive, but decided to not think about the unthinkable. Losing her once is hard enough, losing her again...  
  
As she was about to drive away, she notices a familiar face on the sidewalk trying to hail a cab. She sounded her car horn and motioned for Casey to get into the car. ADA Casey Novak, who's been with the team for almost a year now, is Alex Cabot's replacement. Alex was put into the witness protection program after a threat was made to her life. Now, Alex has a new identity, a new life. A life, without Olivia.  
  
"Working late again, Detective?" Casey teased.  
  
"Yeah had a few things need to take care of. Where to?"  
  
"Are you hungry? I'm starving for some dinner." Casey replied.  
  
"Sure, I know a little Italian place just around the corner. It'll be quiet at this hour." Olivia pointed to her right.  
  
"Sounds great. I can use some peace and quiet."  
  
"I hear ya." Olivia answered.  
  
When they arrived at the restaurant, the place was just what Casey had in mind. There were only a few tables occupied at that time, and the maitre d' greeted both of them cheerfully.  
  
"Hi Olivia. Haven't seen you in a while. The usual table?" The soft-spoken man asked, holding two menus in hand.  
  
"That's fine." Olivia started walking, and Casey followed behind, clearly puzzled at the man's comments.  
  
"I used to come here a lot with Alex before she was ... Well we'd come here for dinner to wind down after work." Olivia tried to steady her voice.  
  
Casey looked at the woman sitting across her. Detective Olivia Benson, together with her partner Detective Elliot Stabler, are known throughout the precinct as the 'Dynamic Duo'. There isn't a case that they can't solve, and there isn't a perp that they couldn't catch. Officially, Casey respected her for what she brought to her job. But secretly, she admired Olivia for the passion and the determination that kept her going every day. What she didn't know was how much that same drive was slowly eating away her sanity.  
  
Before Casey could say anything, their waiter returned.  
  
"Hi, my name is Steve and I'll be your server for today. How have you been, Olivia? How are you holding up?" He shot a barrage of questions at her.  
  
"I'm fine, thank you." Olivia was obviously avoiding the other question.  
  
After they both had ordered and the waiter had brought them their drinks, it was moments before either one spoke.   
  
"So how's the others treating you so far?" Olivia finally broke the silence.  
  
"Not as good as *you're* treating me," Casey teased, puzzled by her own sudden change of tone. "They're okay, I guess." She turned away before Olivia could see the blush on the ADA's face.  
  
As they walked towards Olivia's car after dinner, Casey couldn't help but let out a smile. The dinner was great, but the company even better. But as the night went on, the night grew cooler, and Casey began to regret not bringing her coat.   
  
"Gosh can New York get any colder this time of the year?" Casey thought out loud. Before she realized she had spoken out, Olivia had already took off her coat.  
  
"Here, take mine or else I'd have to take you to the ER." Olivia handed Casey the coat, flashing her a grin.  
  
"You sure? You're gonna be cold without your coat." It's not your coat I want, Detective. Casey tried hard to push that thought away.  
  
"Yeah, cold-blooded." Olivia laughed. Casey's heart skipped a beat when she heard the brunette's laugh. Something's different about her laugh, I just don't know what it is.  
  
"So I take it you had fun tonight, Detective?" Casey's voice was softer now, almost like a gentle caress.  
  
"Yes, very much. Haven't had this much fun or been this relaxed before in a long time." It was Olivia's turn to blush as the words were coming out of her mouth. Why she blushed, she had no idea.   
  
Without realizing it, Casey sported a huge grin on her face. She was glad that Olivia enjoyed herself tonight, because she did too, though not exactly for the same reasons.   
  
"Good night, Olivia." Casey said as she got out of the car.   
  
"Night, Casey. I'll see you tomorrow."   
  
"You can count on it, Detective. Drive safely." She turned around to waive her goodbye as she got into her building.   
  
I need to go out more often, Olivia thought to herself. 


	2. the break in

Disclaimer : Again, I do not own any of the characters, brands name and such. Only my active imagination, and a whole lot of free time.   
  
* indicates emphasis on the word(s).  
  
Review is much appreciated, it's my first time attempting at fiction.  
  
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
  
As she drove away from Casey's building, she felt a tinge of regret. I wonder how her apartment looks like. Must be a nice place, if she's in this neighborhood. Before she could continue on her thoughts, her phone rang.  
  
"Benson."  
  
"Hey, it's Casey. Listen, could you come over?" The voice on the other line seemed shaken.   
  
"Casey? What's going on?" Benson could sense something was wrong. She immediately turned back and headed to Casey's apartment.  
  
"M...my place's been broken into. There's something you should see here." Casey tried to sound calm, but her hands were shaking.  
  
"Are you okay? Don't worry I'll be there in 5 minutes. Stay put until I get there, you hear me?"  
  
"Ok." After telling her the apartment number, she hung up the phone.  
  
After talking to the ADA she called for a patrol unit and also the CSU. She was about to dial Elliot's number when she remembered he was on vacation. So she tried the others instead. When she couldn't get Fin, she dialled Captain Don Cragen's number instead.  
  
"Don't let her out of your sight," was all the captain said, letting her know that John Munch will be at the station when they get there.  
  
Within minutes she was knocking on the ADA's door, relieved to find that Casey was alone.  
  
"Hey, you okay?" Her eyes surveyed the shaken ADA's body, making sure there was no injury.   
  
God, what could possibly make her this shaken? Before Olivia could ask, Casey showed her the remnants of her apartment. What she saw when she stepped into the apartment stopped her dead in her tracks.  
  
"Goodness gracious, it's like a dark room in here." She shivered at the thought of anyone wanting to hurt Casey.  
  
"Ok I confess. I have a fetish. I like my pictures taken." Casey tried to hide her fear with humor. She shuddered at the sight of the unwanted pictures in the living room. Each picture trekked her every move, some even in her own apartment.  
  
Olivia's head was in detective mode when she heard the remark. "Excuse me?"  
  
It took a moment before she realized the remark for what it was and let out a small sigh of relief. Olivia placed her arms around Casey's shoulders, gently stroking the ADA.  
  
"Don't worry Case. We'll get whoever that did this."  
  
As she finished her sentence, the CSU and the patrol unit both showed up at the door.  
  
"All right, let's get to work, everyone." Olivia ordered the others. She is definitely in her detective mode now.  
  
What am I suppose to do now? I feel so useless here. As though reading Casey's mind, Olivia turned and leaned closer. "We still need to get your statement, think you're up to it? We don't have to do it tonight if you don't want to."  
  
Casey tried to concentrate on what the detective was saying, but it was hard. The genuine concern in Olivia's voice had her wondering, trying to fight the urge to want to feel the detective's arms around her once more.  
  
"I'm fine. Really. Let's get this over with. I've got a hearing early morning tomorrow."  
  
"Okay then. Do you have any place that you can stay for a few days? I don't expect it to be more than two, but you never know with CSU."  
  
"Um, actually no. I guess I can always stay in a hotel or something."  
  
"A hotel?" Olivia frowned at the answer. "No, you're staying over at my place tonight. That way I can sleep a whole lot more better." She didn't know why she said what she said, but she was glad. The thought of Casey being hurt sent a bout of shivers down her spine.   
  
Am I hearing it wrongly? I must be imagining things. Casey couldn't believe what she had just heard from the detective, but decided she was too tired to press further.  
  
"All right, you win. Let me just grab my overnight bag from my car and then we'll be good to go."  
  
"Overnight bag? Car? Am I missing something here?" Olivia cocked her eyebrow at the remark.  
  
"I keep an overnight bag full of clothes in my car trunk in case I feel like going away for a few days, though that has never happen, yet. I've been doing that since law school, so it's an old habit," Casey shrugged, trying to fend away the sudden bout of shyness. "Looks like old habits are not so bad after all."  
  
Olivia laughed at the ADA's explanation. "Let's go then, Miss Good-Planning."  
  
"Careful Detective, or I'll have to take you to court for slander," Casey teased, a flicker of grin appeared before disappearing just as quickly. "Do you think I can grab a suit or two as well? Or is it evidence?"  
  
Olivia turned around to talk to the CSU head, and moments later turned to Casey and nodded. After grabbing the suits and the overnight bag, they set out for the station. For the time being, uniform cops will watch the place until the case is closed. On top of that, a patrol car is also on hand 24 hours to ensure the ADA's safety.  
  
Throughout the ride to the station, both were quiet. It wasn't the awkward silence that they both had experienced earlier that night in the restaurant but more like a calming silence, one of reassurance rather than uncertainty.   
  
Casey drifted to sleep almost immediately, numbed by the silence and her last thought that clouded her mind. Why do I feel so secure when I'm with this woman?   
  
When she pulled up at the precinct's parking lot, Olivia was reluctant to wake up the redhead. The look on her face told her so much more than the ADA would tell. Gosh she smiles in her sleep. Must be a good dream then, Olivia thought to herself.   
  
Regretfully, she tapped on Casey's shoulders, trying her best not to startle the ADA.   
  
"Huh? Are we there, Liv?" She rubbed her eyes, trying to figure out their location.  
  
"Yeah, we're here. I take it you had a pleasant dream?"   
  
God I can stare into those dark brown eyes of hers forever. Casey tried to snap herself out of staring, but she couldn't help it. She didn't want to. She just smiled and got out of the car and headed towards the squad room.  
  
As they walk toward the station Olivia did a quick 360 degree survey of their surroundings and was satisfied that no one was around. Silence once again accompanied them while they made their way to the station. It wasn't until they were approaching the squad room that Casey realized that she was walking really close to the detective. Part of her wants to wrap her arms around the brunette, but years of secrecy and control got the best of her.  
  
After giving her statement, she waited while Olivia tried to finish up her work as humanly fast as possible. Next thing Casey remembered was her at the crib with Olivia's coat over her. That in itself was enough to warm her heart, and she couldn't help but smile. Casey Novak was falling in love, something that she would not admit to even to herself. 


	3. the station

Disclaimer: Again, I do not own any of the characters, brands name and such. I only own my active imagination, and a whole lot of free time.   
  
* Indicates emphasis on the word(s).  
  
Review is much appreciated, it's my first time attempting at fiction.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Cragen motioned for Olivia and Munch to go into his office.   
  
"What have we got so far?" He asked before either detective sat down.  
  
"Well so far we know it wasn't a robbery, since there was nothing valuable taken. All the perp took was a few personal items, including a brown leather-bound journal." Olivia said matter-of-factly.  
  
Olivia's thoughts wandered. Alex had a journal, too. She'd write an entry every night before she goes to sleep. Focus, Benson. Now's not the time to daydream.  
  
"Has CSU called back about those photos yet? Surely there's a print on *one* of those pictures." Cragen questioned the two detectives.   
  
"They're working on it, Cap, it'll take some time since there's so many of them." Munch offered.  
  
"Well then pester them to get it going. This is a top-priority case. Breathe underneath their necks if you have to," Cragen barked at his detectives. "Do we have any leads so far?"  
  
Olivia paced around the room. "Not that we know of. We think it's someone that she knows, or possibly an ex-con."  
  
"I'm not ruling out *anyone* until I get a positive match on the prints. Munch, go down to CSU and see if they've got anything for us. Benson, look up recently released ex-cons. Is she staying with you?" He turned to the female detective.  
  
"Yeah, Cap. It was either my place or the hotel. Figured she would be safer with me."  
  
Cragen got up and started walking when he stopped with his hands at the door. "Good, I know she's tough, but sometimes you need someone to watch your back."  
  
Olivia nodded, her mind drifted briefly to the woman sleeping in the crib. "Yes you do, that's what partners are for."  
  
"Speaking of partners, are you gonna be okay working without a partner on this case, Liv? I don't want you to burn yourself out midway through this investigation," Cragen asked. "Fin won't be available until tomorrow morning, the earliest, so it's just you and Munch, for now."  
  
"It's better to burn out, than to fade away." Olivia said offhandedly.   
  
Cragen shot her a puzzled look. "Do I want to know what that means?"   
  
"I'll be fine," Olivia laughed as she walked out of the office. "Hey you, I thought you were gonna sleep for a week." She tried to sound as casual as possible when she saw the ADA approach Elliot's desk.  
  
"I smelled my wake-up call." Casey smiled apologetically, tilting her head towards the coffee machine.  
  
"Ah, I just made a new batch not too long ago. You want some?" Olivia cringed at the sight of the strains on the redhead's face.  
  
"No thanks. I'd like some water, though."  
  
Casey watched the detective's every move while she went about doing her work. Is it possible that she just got even more gorgeous? I have got to stop thinking about her this way. It's driving me insane. I need some fresh air.  
  
As she stood at the front of the precinct, memories of her first day at work hit her like a wave. How seemingly cold the squad was towards her presence. How the detective and her partner was reluctant to have her tag along during their investigation. How she had found the little girl in the icebox and rescued her before it was too late. How she wanted to quit after she realized what she had to deal with on a daily basis. How her boss calmed her down and reminded her the purpose of their job.  
  
She might've wanted to leave that day, but now, she wouldn't leave for all the riches in the world. The thought of seeing Olivia every day, together with the thought of bringing justice to those who seek out to harm others, not only motivated her but it also pushed her to work even harder.   
  
"Casey?" Olivia called out for the ADA. Her heart started beating again when she saw the redhead standing in front of the station. "You okay?" Her eyes looked so sad, so tired, Olivia thought.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just needed some fresh air."   
  
"You got me worried for a sec back there." Olivia tried to sound as calm as possible. But she wasn't. When she realized Casey was no longer in the room, her heart sank. After checking the crib, the restroom and Cragen's office, she was on her way to the car when the sight of the ADA settled her racing mind.   
  
She saw the worry in the detective's eyes, and changed to a safer subject. "How can you guys sleep in the crib? It creeps the lights out of me, and I've only been in there for two hours!"  
  
Olivia noticed the change, but decided it was best to drop the issue. "Well, it aint the Ritz for sure, but it serves its purpose," Olivia smiled. "Besides, I doubt you'll ever need to sleep in there, again."  
  
Neither spoke as they walked toward the squad room and it wasn't until after they've reached the squad room did Olivia broke the silence.  
  
"I'll just pop in to Cap's office to tell him we're taking off." Olivia said as she headed towards her captain's office.  
  
"So I see the great Detective Benson found you." Munch couldn't have come up with a better opening line, or a better timing.  
  
"Yeah, lucky me." Casey retorted. Before Munch could think of a comeback, Olivia was already at her desk, and had packed some the paperwork to bring home with her.  
  
"Ready to go?" Olivia could tell the ADA must've given Munch a run for his money, for he was quiet, for once.  
  
"Yeah. I still need to look through the file for tomorrow's hearing." Casey grabbed her coat with the detective following closely behind.  
  
"Night, Munch." Olivia waved to Munch.  
  
"See ya tomorrow, kiddo." Munch replied while his call to the CSU was put on hold.  
  
As the two women walked out of the room, Cragen stepped out of his office and walked towards Munch. After Munch scribbled a few things on his notebook, he ended the call.  
  
"Talk to me." The captain asked.  
  
"Not one complete print on the pictures." Munch replied.  
  
"But?" Cragen asked impatiently. "Cut the suspense, Munch. There's got to be at least *something* on there that can lead us to him."  
  
"Partial prints. Our guy was a little sloppy in handling a few pictures, the ones with the ADA *and* Olivia," The detective replied. "CSU said when they took the picture from the scene it looked as though our guy clenched it in his palm before putting it up. I think he's questioning the scope of Olivia and the ADA's relationship beyond work."  
  
"Do we have a name?" Cragen asked, ignoring the detective's not so subtle suggestion.  
  
"Name's Jonathan Hall." Munch didn't have much to offer his superior.  
  
Cragen's mind started sorting out their next move. "Dig deeper, and while you're at it, get Novak in here and see if she recalls this shadow."  
  
"I'll make some phone calls." Munch said to the closing of Cragen's door.  
  
The drive to Olivia's apartment was a relatively short one, since she lived not too far away. After they had both settled in and Casey had put away her stuff in the guest room, Olivia went back to tackle the paperwork. Casey sat on the couch, trying to concentrate on revising her opening statements, while Olivia was just inches away on the armchair, trying to catch up on her paperwork.   
  
Under other circumstances, this would have been like a quiet night in for lovers, just enjoying each other's company. But Casey knew better. The air around them was filled with so much uncertainty, and to a certain extent, fear as well that it was anything but. Get a grip, Casey. She's not trying to seduce you. She's just trying to be nice. Forget about it, Casey, and get back to work!  
  
While that train of thoughts enthralled Casey, Olivia was fighting to focus as well. Images of Alex that had threatened to surface earlier in Cragen's office had begun to slip through her conscious mind. Before knowing, memories of their late-night conversations started playing in her head. The sadness that she saw in the ADA's eyes reminded her of Alex's, how she struggled to tell her the truth before the federal agents whisked her away to safety. She felt tears running down her cheek, and before Casey saw them, she quickly wiped it off.   
  
"I think I'm done for the night. You need anything?" Olivia stood up and gathered her work.   
  
Casey jumped at the sound of Olivia's voice. "No I'm fine. I'll feel my way around if I do need anything."  
  
Olivia chuckled at the redhead's remark. "Okay. Good night then." Her hand was on her bedroom doorknob when the redhead called out for her.  
  
"Um...I uh just want to say thanks for letting me stay here. I wouldn't know where to go or who to turn to if not for you." Casey said, her voice without a hint of smugness or cockiness, just honesty and gratitude.   
  
Olivia let out a small laugh before she closed the door. As she lies on her bed, her eyes fluttered slowly, sensing sleep would come soon. However, the same could not be said of the occupant in the guest room. Casey was physically tired, but somehow her eyes just would not allow her the luxury of sleep. Every time she closes her eyes the image of her living room come crashing back. As a result, Casey lay on the bed that night awake, wondering when dawn would come. 


	4. the incident

Disclaimer: Again, I do not own any of the characters, brands name and such. I only own my active imagination, and a whole lot of free time.   
  
* Indicates emphasis on the word(s).  
  
' ' Indicates thought.  
  
Review is much appreciated, it's my first time attempting at fiction.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Olivia?" She called out softly. Casey wasn't sure if she should go into Olivia's room. However, the phone call she had just gotten was important so she crept lightly into the room, and hoped that her presence would not startle the sleeping brunette.  
  
'Damn it, I can barely see a thing in here. Where the hell is the light?' She thought in frustration. Casey felt something move in the room, and before she knew it, she was forced to the ground.   
  
"NYPD, hands on your head!" Olivia shouted, her body pinning the intruding figure down. "You picked the wrong place to rob, buster."  
  
When she switched on the lights, however, she couldn't believe her eyes. A very shaken ADA was on the ground, her face plastered to the worn floorboards. Immediately she put her gun away and helped Casey up.  
  
"Oh my God I'm so sorry. I didn't know it was you." Olivia apologized profusely.   
  
"I...it's okay. Sorry *I* scared you." Casey couldn't hide the tremors. 'Phew that was close. Need to knock louder next time. Next time?' Casey shuddered at that thought.  
  
"You okay?" Olivia's voice was gentle, unlike the stern order earlier. "You're shaking, Casey. Here, sit down on the bed for a while. Want something to drink? Coffee? Tea? Wine?" Olivia tried to make up for her previous actions. 'Jesus, I must've scared the lights out of her.'   
  
"Tea would be good, thanks." Casey followed the detective to the kitchen and sat on the nearby stool while the detective made tea for both of them. Olivia headed to the living room, and they both settled on the couch with a cup of tea in hand.   
  
After she took a sip of the drink, Casey spoke up. "Munch called earlier. You left your cell phone on the coffee table when you went to bed, so I picked it up instead," Casey tried to sound steady, but her hands were still shaking. "He wants you to get to the station early tomorrow."   
  
Olivia took both cups and placed them on the coffee table. 'Great Benson, you managed to scare another person away. She'll be lucky if she can come out of this alive; if not the perp then it's you.'  
  
"And I'm *really* sorry about earlier," Olivia apologized, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. "I didn't mean to scare you like that." She felt lost, not knowing what to say to comfort the redhead.  
  
"It's not your fault, Detective. Occupational hazard, I understand." Casey's hand was on her forehead, trying to rub off the throbbing headache from the incident.  
  
Instinct told Olivia something was wrong. "Casey? You wanna talk about it?"  
  
Casey took a deep breath, and turned to search the detective's eyes. In those dark tender, patient eyes, she found the comfort she had been looking for.  
  
"Every time I close my eyes, those pictures come flashing back in my head," she said, cradling her knees in her arms. "These things happen to people, yes. But why did this happen to me? I didn't do anything!"   
  
Olivia felt sorry for the ADA. She always thought the other woman was strong but seeing her this way made Olivia's heart ache. She caught the tears in Casey's eyes and wiped them away.   
  
"Hey, don't worry about it. And I promise you, we'll get that sick son of a bitch that did this to you, okay? It'll be over in no time." Olivia caressed the ADA's hand.  
  
Without warning, Casey moved closer to the detective and rested her head on the brunette's shoulder. Olivia didn't know what to do, so she put her arms around Casey, hoping to calm her down. The ADA's arms went around Olivia's waist and she held on while the tears flowed.  
  
Olivia was burning with rage inside, but she knew that this was not a good time to let her emotions take control. She had to be levelheaded if they wanted to solve this case fast. The rhythmic rise and fall of the redhead's chest told her that Casey was asleep, and the nightmares that haunted her earlier were gone. Olivia tried to break their embrace to let the ADA have more room on the couch, but as soon as she moved, Casey's arms tightened around her. The detective had no choice but to shift to a more comfortable position and pull a blanket over the both of them while she drifted back into her own slumber.  
  
It was a little after 5 in the morning that Casey woke up right before Olivia. Casey knew she had to let go, but it was the hardest thing for her to do. Olivia broke their embrace and stretched her arms while Casey was still attached to her.   
  
"Good morning," Olivia placed her arm on Casey's shoulder as she straightened up. "Feeling better?"  
  
The redhead couldn't hide her blush. 'God, did I just spend the night in Olivia's arms? I hope I didn't drool. Is it *that* obvious? I miss her warmth already,' Casey thought to herself.  
  
"Yeah, much better. Thanks for the shoulder." Casey tried to smile.  
  
"Anytime. Besides, that's the least I can do, after what I did to you last night." Olivia still felt guilty for what had happened.  
  
"So I guess you owe me dinner then." She teased the detective. Casey tried to steady herself on the couch, but her head was spinning.  
  
"Dinner, lunch, and breakfast. I'll be your personal bodyguard from now till the case's done." Olivia wished there was another way to do this, but any other approach could jeopardize Casey's safety, and that was not acceptable.  
  
Casey couldn't hide her smile. "Breakfast, lunch *and* dinner? Wow, this must be my lucky day."  
  
"Think of it as your lucky *week*. I'm not letting you out of my sight until everything's done," Olivia stated. "Cragen's orders."  
  
The ADA secretly thanked the SVU captain and her lucky stars. "Well then, gotta follow the rules, huh. So, what's for breakfast?"   
  
"Pancakes, sausages and eggs sound good to you?" Olivia asked from the kitchen.  
  
"Perfect."   
  
'Am I in heaven? A night in her arms *and* breakfast? The things you do to me Olivia Benson,' Casey thought.  
  
  
  
"Go ahead and freshen up. It'll be ready in about 20 minutes." Olivia said as she sent the redhead out of the kitchen.  
  
After a relaxing shower, Casey got dressed and gathered her files for the early morning hearing. The comforting scent of freshly made pancakes and brewing coffee reminded Casey of her mother's cooking. God, it smelled good, Casey thought to herself as she took her seat at the table. Taking a bite of the food on her plate, it was as though every bit of her senses came to life. Each bite brought back pleasant memories of the past, memories of a long forgotten childhood.   
  
Olivia muffled her laugh when she saw the hedonistic expression on the normally serious ADA's face. "Good to know you're enjoying the breakfast."  
  
Casey did not trust herself to answer. She flashed the detective a smile before getting up to clean the dishes. She might be hopelessly in love, but she still knew her manners.   
  
"Don't worry about the dishes, Case. Just throw 'em in the dish washer," When Casey did not reply her, Olivia took a step closer. "Casey?"  
  
"Uh yeah, okay. Sorry, my mind's already drifting to the court." Casey was thinking about how seemingly normal the situation felt. The night spent in Olivia's arms, the breakfast. 'How cruel,' she thought. 'I get a taste of what I can't possibly get. There's no way Olivia's interested in me. It's obvious she's still in love with Alex Cabot. The pictures in her room...'  
  
"I'm gonna jump in to the showers real quick and change." Olivia said while she walked towards her bedroom.  
  
Casey's mind drifted back to the frames of pictures in Olivia's room. A few of them were taken on the same day, a day in the park of sorts. The one with Olivia and the guys from the squad, Olivia and Alex with Elliot's kids and the one with Olivia watching Alex play catch with the twins. And then flashbacks of her living room surfaced again. Casey mentally shook herself to shrug off the unwanted thoughts, and it took every bit of her energy to do just that.  
  
"You ready to go? Casey?" Olivia had finished showering and had managed to change all within 20 minutes. When the redhead did not answer her, she raised her eyebrows questioningly.  
  
"Huh? Oh, Olivia. Sorry, drifted off for a while there. All set?" Casey didn't look up, for she was certain once those dark brown eyes met hers, it would reveal her true feelings for the veteran detective.  
  
Olivia had a nagging feeling at the ADA's response. 'Perhaps the nightmares didn't go away,' she thought to herself. "We're good to go. The courthouse, I presume?"  
  
"Actually I'd like to tag along to the station to see if there's any update on my case. If that's ok with you," Casey forced a smile. "I've got some time to kill before the hearing."  
  
Olivia saw no reason to deny the ADA's request. "I don't think I can handle seeing Munch's face this early in the morning, so yeah." 


	5. Whodunit

Disclaimer: Again, I do not own any of the characters, brands name and such. I only own my active imagination, and a whole lot of free time.   
  
* Indicates emphasis on the word(s).  
  
' ' Indicates thought. I decided to add it in to avoid confusion.  
  
Review is much appreciated, it's my first time attempting at fiction.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone, but though you're still with me, I've been alone all along..."  
  
Evanescence's 'My Immortal' was playing on the radio when Casey got into the car. Immediately Casey's gaze shifted to the woman sitting in the driver's seat. Casey didn't have to ask the detective to know what was running through her mind at that time. 'I'd do anything to ease her pain. Anything,' Casey thought. She knew the only way to stop the pain was to bring Alex back, but that was not possible. Still, it didn't stop her from wanting to try.  
  
They both rode in silence during the short ride to the station, neither sure of what to say. The station was unusually crowded with people at this time of the day, and Olivia glanced around warily.  
  
"Ah, sleeping beauty has so kindly graced us with her presence." Munch teased, ignoring the daggers shooting out of the female detective's eyes. He had just started filling her in on the updates of the case when Cragen walked in.  
  
"Both of you, in my office. *Now*," The captain ordered, walking straight to his office. "Morning, counselor."  
  
Casey nodded. "Captain."  
  
"Munch, what have you got?" Cragen asked after closing the door.  
  
The detective handed a file to Cragen, who passed it along to Olivia after he read the rap sheet.  
  
"Name's Jonathan Hall. Just moved to New York about two years ago. Graduated from Harvard Business magna cum laude. Works in an ad agency downtown. Thirty, single and loaded. No priors, no aliases, but he does have one complaint filed against him by a former colleague of his. A Candice Norton of the Upper East Side." Munch said all in one breath.  
  
Olivia was staring at the file photo of Jonathan.   
  
"Olivia?" Cragen noticed the change on the female detective.  
  
'I know that face,' Olivia thought to herself. "He looks familiar, like I've seen him somewhere before."  
  
Cragen looked at Munch. "Lover boy here is quite the social butterfly. You might've seen him in the society section of the papers. Pretty boy here likes his company tall, smart and a redhead."  
  
Olivia shuddered at the last remark. It was as though he was describing the ADA.   
  
"Is it just me or does it sound like another version of our friend out there?" Cragen tilted his head towards Casey's direction.  
  
"Textbook stalker symptom. He's fixated on the ADA," Munch couldn't resist throwing in his two cents. "Not a bad choice, I might add."  
  
Before Olivia could make a remark, Cragen stood up. "All right then, Benson, talk to the ADA, see if she remembers lover boy. When you're done, you and I will go talk to Miss Norton. Munch, you and Fin *invite* Mr. Hall in for a cup of coffee."  
  
"Speaking of which, where's Fin? Haven't seen him all morning." Munch asked, curious of his partner's whereabouts.  
  
Cragen looked up from the file he was reading. "He'll be in soon."  
  
As soon as the door to Cragen's office opened, Casey darted towards the detectives, eager to find out more about her case. Before she could even ask, Olivia gestured for her to follow to the interview room.   
  
"What's wrong?" Casey was getting impatient. She saw the file in Olivia's hands, and butterflies instantly started fluttering in her stomach. "Any leads so far? Do we know who took those pictures?"  
  
Olivia struggled with her answers. What she had to do next was hard, but she knew it had to be done. She pulled out a photo from the file. "Do you know this man?"  
  
"Jon? Yeah I do. We used to bump into each other at the coffee house on campus when I was still at Harvard. Why?" Casey was confused. "What has Jon got to do with my case?"  
  
"Have you seen him after graduation at all?" Olivia was careful with her words, not wanting to startle the redhead any more than the situation already had.  
  
"Um yeah, he moved here a few months after I did. I helped him get his place at Central Park. He was working at a firm in Long Island before he moved here." Casey noticed the detective fidgeting in her seat.  
  
"What, uh, exactly is the nature of your relationship with Mr. Hall?" Olivia tried to sound professional.  
  
"We're friends. A drink after work sometimes, but nothing more," Casey answered curtly. "Why? You don't possibly think he has anything to do with this, do you?"  
  
Olivia did not want to alarm the ADA. She did not tell her about his prints on the pictures. 'She doesn't need to know,' Olivia thought to herself. "We're just not ruling anyone out."   
  
Casey sat there and watched the detective as she tried to decipher what Olivia was *not* saying. Olivia felt Casey's questioning gaze staring deep into her dark brown eyes. She stood up rather abruptly, startling the ADA.  
  
"I'll call you if we need more information," Olivia panicked. "Thanks for your help, Casey."  
  
Casey was confused. "Olivia?"  
  
"I'm sorry, I need to go. Give me a call if you need me to pick you up from work later."   
  
Without stopping, Olivia walked straight to the bathroom. After splashing her face with cold water, she seemed to have calmed down a little bit. 'Those eyes...' Olivia couldn't stop thinking about them. In Casey's eyes, she saw the same fear she had seen in Alex's, and that was enough to upset the detective. She hesitated to call Elliot, knowing fully well that he will rush back to the city in a heartbeat with a phone call. But she didn't want to dampen his family's vacation. It has been a long while since the whole family had taken a vacation without any disruption. 'Just two more days. Then when Elliot gets back I can fill him in,' she thought to herself.  
  
Back in the interview room, Casey was still trying to understand what had happened. There were so many questions she had wanted to ask Olivia, but the look on Olivia's face had stopped her. It was haunted, almost as though she was scared. She stood there for several moments, trying to decide whether she should go check on the detective.  
  
"Oh shit I'm gonna be late for court!" Casey said out loud, half-running out of the squad room.  
  
When Olivia came back in to the squad room, Munch and Fin were already gone. She couldn't find Casey, and instinct told her the ADA probably was already on her way to court. Olivia grabbed the Candice Norton file and headed towards the parking lot where Cragen was already waiting for her in the car.  
  
"So what's the deal with this former colleague of his?" Cragen asked.  
  
Olivia flipped through the file. "She worked in the same department as Hall. Found tons of photos of her in his drawer one day, confronted him about it. He denied they were his. Quit the next day." Olivia went silent.  
  
"Liv?" Cragen stopped the car in front of Norton's apartment.  
  
"He came here a few months after Casey did," Olivia said. "I don't think he told her about that incident, though."  
  
Cragen got out of the car. "Would you?"  
  
Olivia didn't answer. She knocked on the hardwood door, and came face to face with a splitting image of Casey. She looked at her captain, who nodded in return.  
  
"Miss Candice Norton? NYPD Special Victims Unit. I'm Detective Olivia Benson and this is Captain Donald Cragen. May we speak to you for a moment?" 


	6. outburst

Disclaimer: Again, I do not own any of the characters, brands name and such. I only own my active imagination, and a whole lot of free time.   
  
* Indicates emphasis on the word(s).  
  
' ' Indicates thought. I decided to add it in to avoid confusion.  
  
Review is much appreciated, it's my first time attempting at fiction.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Court is adjourned." As soon as the judge left the courtroom, Casey packed her files into her briefcase and headed to her office. She was so engrossed in her paperwork that she did not hear the knock on her door.   
  
"Well hello to you too." DA Arthur Branch's voice registered in Casey's mind. She immediately looked up.  
  
"Sorry Arthur didn't know it was you. What can I do for you? Is there a problem with one of the cases?" Casey did not give her boss a chance to reply.  
  
He looked at her for a moment, and then nodded. "Casey, Don Cragen told me what had happened. You should take a few days off."  
  
"I'm fine. Besides, we have got a lot of cases and not enough manpower." Casey wasn't sure if it was a good idea, since her work was the only thing that was keeping her in one piece.  
  
"Casey, the cases that you're handling are a slam dunk," The DA said. "It'll be fine. Don't worry about it. Come back when the case is done, ok?"  
  
"Ok then. I'll finish this up and then get out of here." Casey was glad she didn't need to worry about her job, for she had too many questions. Questions that only Olivia had answers to.  
  
As her boss walked out of the door, he spoke up. "Take care of yourself, will you? I expect you to be ready to go when this is done."  
  
Casey waved her thanks, once again burying her head in the pile of paperwork in front of her. Lunchtime came around, and by then Casey had already finished up the paperwork. She had even managed to brief the other ADA on her cases. After Casey gave a few instructions to her assistant Michelle, she left for home. Within minutes after she got home, Casey jumped into her car and headed for the batting cage that she frequented. With each swing she felt her body relaxing a little more, releasing all the tension she had felt since the moment she woke up.  
  
As Casey walked out of the locker room the attendant called out to her.  
  
"Excuse me, m'am," the attendant said, stopping her. "There's an envelope for you."  
  
Casey's instinct told her something was wrong. Before she could even grab her cell phone to call Olivia, it rang.  
  
It was Olivia.  
  
"Olivia?" Casey's voice was shaking.  
  
"Casey, where are you? Are you ok?" Olivia was half-running towards her car. 'Steady, Benson. You need to calm down,' she thought to herself.  
  
"I'm ok. I'm at the batting cage on Lexington," Casey was shaking even harder now. "Um, you might uh need to send a team down here. We've got another contact from uh..."  
  
Olivia cut Casey off before she could finish her sentence. "Stay with the patrol car till I get there. You hear me?"  
  
After Casey ended the call, she turned to the attendant.  
  
"You have a Ziploc bag to put this in?" The attendant was clearly confused at the redhead's request.  
  
"I think so. Let me check." He returned a few moments later to Casey who had two uniform cops with her. One officer took the attendant's statement while the other made sure the ADA was safe. 'What's taking Olivia so long,' Casey was getting impatient. She started walking away from the group when a voice stopped her.  
  
"I thought I told you to stay with the patrol," Olivia stood within an earshot of the redhead. Casey pulled the detective aside, wanting some answers from the older woman.  
  
When Munch called Cragen while they were talking to Candice Norton, Olivia's stomach started fluttering. She had a bad feeling about the phone call. Cragen signalled her to wrap up the conversation, and before long they were back in the car again.  
  
Before Olivia could ask, Cragen was on the phone again. He called the DA's office for a search warrant to Jonathan Hall's office and apartment. 'Uh oh, that can't be good,' Olivia thought to herself. 'Shit, where's Casey?'  
  
"So, are you gonna tell me what's happening or do I have to hit you with the baseball bat?" Casey was growing more and more impatient by the minute. 'This suspense is killing me,' she thought.  
  
"Munch and Fin paid your friend Mr. Hall a visit just now. Nobody's seen him for the past two days. They're getting a search warrant for his office and apartment." Olivia said all in one breath, as though it would lessen the pain.  
  
Casey didn't need the detective to say more. She knew what was happening. But knowing and acknowledging is two different things. 'Jon?' Casey still could not believe it. 'How could it have been him?'  
  
Olivia noticed the change on the ADA's face. As if reading her mind, Olivia moved closer to Casey. "Don't worry, we will take care of him. You just worry about work, ok?"  
  
Casey was too angry to even listen to the detective. She responded in an icy tone. "Easy for you to say. *You're* not the one being stalked here."   
  
"You don't honestly think this is easy for any one of us, do you?" Olivia had to keep her own emotions in check. She understood the ADA's anger, but that didn't mean she had to tolerate it. "Just let us do our job, and I promise you this will be over faster than you can say shotgun."  
  
Casey knew her outburst was uncalled for. She knew better than to lash out at the detective, who had been nothing but helpful to her. "Sorry, I don't know what took over me. When I saw the envelope I lost control." Casey felt bad for snapping at the older woman. "So what's gonna happen now?" Casey felt lost for once, not knowing what to do or say.  
  
"Have you opened the envelope yet?" Olivia went back into her detective mode.  
  
Casey shook her head, and then followed the detective as she made her way to where the attendant was standing. Cragen looked their way briefly before giving instructions to the back up patrol units. The detectives gathered in front of Casey's car while the uniforms did a perimeter search.  
  
"Go ahead, Casey. Open it," Cragen told the ADA as he handed her a pair of gloves. "Forensics already dusted the envelope for prints. Let's see what's inside."  
  
Casey's hands were shaking slightly, but she was determined not to let her fear show. 'I'll be damned if I let him see me scared,' she thought. The anger that was boiling earlier had slowly begun to surface again. Casey took a deep breath and opened the envelope. Since it wasn't sealed, it didn't take long for her to pull out the contents, two photographs taken the night before. It would have taken a very observant person to have noticed the subtle shift on Casey. But Olivia saw it immediately. She moved towards to the ADA, just close enough to give reassurance to the woman.  
  
Olivia stared at the photographs. She couldn't believe her eyes. Both pictures were taken while Olivia and Casey were on the couch, asleep. 'How the hell did that scum bag get so close without the patrol picking him up?'  
  
As if reading her mind, Munch spoke up. "The photos were taken with a telephoto lens. He could've been anywhere."  
  
"All right, let's pack it up here and head back to the stationhouse." Cragen was getting more worried. Being out in the open with Hall still out at large did not sit well with the captain. He wanted his detective and the ADA to lay low, especially now that the threat had escalated. 


	7. escalated threat

Disclaimer: Again, I do not own any of the characters, brands name and such. I only own my active imagination, and a whole lot of free time.   
  
* Indicates emphasis on the word(s).  
  
' ' Indicates thought. I decided to add it in to avoid confusion.  
  
Review is much appreciated, it's my first fiction piece.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"So where are we on this case?" the detectives had barely settled down when Cragen questioned them.  
  
Munch stood up and offered the information. "No doubt the perp's Hall. His prints were on the photos and his MO matches. Been missing for two days, last seen near a photo lab two blocks away from his apartment."  
  
"We have a unit watching his office and his apartment and also a unit at Olivia's and the ADA's apartment, just in case." Fin added.  
  
Casey's body shivered at the mere mention of the photos. Olivia caught the change out of the corner of her eye and flashed a reassuring smile to the ADA. Cragen looked at them and wondered briefly if either realized how much they cared for each other. 'I can't testify what I don't know.' Cragen thought to himself. He cleared his throat before he continued.  
  
"Did we get any hits from the search at his office and his apartment?"  
  
Fin looked at the ADA, unsure if she was prepared for what he was about to show. Without thinking, Olivia stood next to Casey, and nodded to Fin to carry on.  
  
"We found tons of photos of three different women. All taken without them knowing," Fin took the evidence bags out. "He keeps a log of their activities. What they do, at what time, where they go. And then we found this."   
  
Casey stood up abruptly, startling everyone. She headed towards the bathroom, and Cragen gestured to Olivia to follow the ADA. Olivia walked into the bathroom to find the other woman hunched over the bowl, and throwing up all the contents in her stomach. 'Sick son of a bitch.' she thought to herself. With each passing moment her anger towards him grew. 'My fucking journal.' Casey took a deep breath to calm her thoughts. Olivia handed the napkins to her without saying a word, knowing it would be to no avail. After gurgling water in her mouth to wash away the vile taste, she headed back to the squad room.  
  
When both women walked in, there was an eerie silence in the room. Instincts told Olivia there was another contact from Hall. Both detectives and Cragen looked at them, all reluctant to break the news to either woman. Finally Cragen spoke up.  
  
"There's been movement from lover boy," the captain tried to sound as steady as possible. "He somehow managed to break into your apartment, Olivia. CSU is on their way there." Cragen held his hand up before either woman could speak. "Munch, Fin, go take a look at the place, see if anything come up. Until we apprehend this guy, you two will stay at the stationhouse."  
  
Olivia felt insulted. "With all due respect, Captain, let me do my job," she took a deep breath before continuing. "I know my place and the area well. If he's hiding somewhere I *know* where to look."  
  
Cragen knew his headstrong female detective will not take no for an answer. "All right, but take the uniforms with you. And I want that place secured before you even set foot in there."  
  
Munch started walking towards the exit. "I'll get the uniforms started on the perimeter search."  
  
"I'd like this scum of the earth off the streets before dinner, people," Cragen barked at his detectives. "Liv, Novak, got a minute?"  
  
Casey didn't want to stay at the stationhouse. Before she could speak up, Olivia stood and headed towards the exit. "Don't worry Cap. I'll make sure we come back in one piece."   
  
"And I'll watch the detective's back." Casey added, not wanting to be left out.  
  
Cragen didn't like the idea of them being out there in the open. 'Might as well walk out of here with a bull's eye on your back.' He pushed that thought away. "Just make sure to have uniforms with you *at all times*. And don't wander off on your own. Call for back up if there's anything."  
  
It didn't take long for the two women to get to Olivia's apartment. The street was already filled with patrol cars and nosy passersby trying to get a good look from beyond the yellow tape. Fin led the two women to the apartment and secretly hoped that this would all end soon. He hated seeing his friends get hurt, let alone two women that he respected the most.  
  
As soon as both women walked into the apartment, everyone fell silent. It took a whole second before either woman noticed the photos hanging around the living room. Chills ran down Casey's spine instantly. 'This isn't happening,' she thought.   
  
Olivia was boiling with rage. She clenched her fist so tight that her fingernails bit into her palm. Not wanting to let her anger show, she tried her best to put on her game face. "I'm gonna get you, you sick bastard," Olivia murmured under her breath. What she was more concerned about was the ADA. Casey hasn't spoken a word every since they got there.   
  
"Casey?" Olivia moved closer to the redhead when she saw her pale, drained face.  
  
'He followed us...' Casey's thought was distracted by the sound of the female detective's voice. "Huh, I'm fine," Noting the concerned look on the older woman, she flashed a smile towards Olivia. "It's ok. Just as long as you'll be there to catch me when I fall."  
  
Olivia felt her heart skip a beat at that remark. She wasn't sure what to say, or how to react. She knew the ADA was interested in her. Hell, some of Casey's advances have been anything but subtle. Olivia respected Casey for what she represented and to a certain extent she liked the woman. But liking and wanting to wake up next to the woman were two very different things.   
  
"Don't wander around on your own," Olivia was once again in protective mode. "And stay close to me."  
  
Casey let out a small laugh, saluting the detective. "Yes, ma'am."  
  
After hours of searching, the detectives finally decided to head back to the stationhouse. Just as Olivia was about to get into the driver's seat, she caught a flicker of light out of the corner of her eye. Instincts told her it was a camera flash. Olivia recognized the face from the photo in the police file immediately. She turned to the other two detectives and got their attention just as they were getting into the car.  
  
"Munch, Fin, he's at the corner of the street!" Olivia started chasing after the departing figure running away from the crowd. As the detectives took off, the ADA was left in the car alone, with about a dozen uniforms standing around to ensure her safety. Munch and Fin was half a step behind Olivia and they had a hard time catching up to her, let alone the perp.  
  
'Stupid son of a bitch. You'll be sorry once I get your sick ass.' Olivia ran even faster, propelled by her thought. After a short sprint, Olivia caught up with the runner. She grabbed him and held him up against the building wall. "Why did you run, Jonathan?" Olivia questioned the man while the other detectives caught up with them. "What's the matter, cat caught your tongue?"  
  
Just as Hall was about to take a swing at the female detective, backup arrived. She stepped away from the blow, throwing him off stride. Fin pinned him down instantly. "Don't you dare move."   
  
"I want my lawyer." was all Hall said after Fin had read him his Miranda rights.  
  
As the detectives took their victory lap toward the squad cars, Casey was pacing up and down the street. 'What's taking them so long?' She didn't need long to find out the answer. She lunged at Hall, and instantly Fin shielded their suspect.  
  
"You sick son of a bitch!" Casey's anger was evident, her eyes filled with uncontrollable rage.  
  
"That's enough, Casey." Olivia stepped forward to hold off the ADA before she could do any harm. She pulled Casey away from the crowd around the handcuffed man, letting go only after Hall was in the squad car. "You ok? Need something to drink?"  
  
Casey took a deep breath and tried to calm her raging anger. "No I'm not ok. But I will be once we lock this sorry excuse up in Rikers," She took another deep breath and straightened herself. "Let's go."  
  
Back in the station, the detectives, together with Dr. Huang and the captain, stood in the observation room while waiting for Hall's lawyer to get to the station.   
  
"It's been an hour. Think he's ready to talk?" Munch asked his partner.  
  
"Does it matter what he says? The evidence is completely against him. He won't stand a chance in hell." Fin had to keep his own anger in check.   
  
"Not if his lawyer pleads insanity." Casey and Olivia had walked in to the observation room without either man noticing.  
  
Before anyone could speak, Dr. Huang offered his advice. "He's not gonna talk if either Olivia or Casey's in there. He's just gonna shut down and then we'll have nothing."  
  
Cragen gestured to Munch and Fin. "See if you two can make him break a sweat."  
  
"Are you promoting police brutality, Captain Cragen?" Hall's lawyer walked in. It was Trevor Langan.   
  
"Well if it isn't the devil's advocate," Munch quipped. "Nice to see you again, Counselor."  
  
"Hello detectives. Olivia," He nodded towards the group, then turned to Casey. "I don't believe we have met before. I'm Trevor Langan." He extended his hand towards Casey.  
  
"ADA Casey Novak. Nice to meet you." Casey felt awkward. 'He knew Olivia on a first name basis. Maybe there's something else there.' Casey tried to shove that thought aside. 'Jesus, Cassandra. Get a hold of yourself. Stop jumping to conclusions.' 


	8. the fall

Disclaimer: Again, I do not own any of the characters, brands name and such. I only own my active imagination, and a whole lot of free time.   
  
* Indicates emphasis on the word(s).  
  
' ' Indicates thought. I decided to add it in to avoid confusion.  
  
Review is much appreciated, it's my first fiction piece.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Olivia could barely stand still. Her head was spinning, her body drained of energy. 'Man, I do not want to throw up in front of everyone.' She tried to steady herself by leaning against the wall, her hand massaging the back of her neck. Standing not too far away, Casey had been watching the female detective closely ever since they had left the crime scene. She sensed that the detective was not herself. The ADA recognized the pain in those dark, alluring brown eyes. She had seen them the night before, when they were in Olivia's living room. The pain that Olivia thought Casey did not notice. Her heart wrenched at the thought of Olivia being hurt. 'What I'd give to hold her in my arms right now.' Casey moved closer to the detective and whispered in her ear.  
  
"You look terrible, Olivia. You need to rest."  
  
Olivia was slightly annoyed at the constant nauseating feeling that she had. "I'm fine. Really. I'll get some rest once this is over." She wanted to make sure that Hall was locked up before she could even entertain the notion of sleep.  
  
"I know you're worried about the case, Liv. But being stubborn won't help here. Besides, I take it you haven't had anything to eat since this morning?"  
  
"Casey, I'm fine. If anyone should be getting any rest at all, it should be you." Casey could see that the older woman was starting to get annoyed by the attention, but she wasn't ready to let go.  
  
"Then will you at least join me in a walk? I could really use some fresh air. Plus I think the rest would be a much happier group if there's food in their stomachs." Sensing defeat, Olivia nodded, and told the captain about their plans.  
  
The night was cold and clouds filled the skies. Casey's mind went back to the previous night. 'Gosh it felt as though it happened a long time ago.' Although Casey made every effort to strike a conversation with the detective, words seem to die on her tongue whenever she looked at Olivia. Nothing but sorrow and disappointment was plastered across Olivia's face. Casey wanted to reach out to hold her until all the pain would go away, but she wanted to know how things stood between them first. 'Soon.' she told herself.  
  
  
  
After ordering enough to feed 10 people, the two women walked out of the corner deli. Olivia held the small box filled with sandwiches while Casey took care of the drinks. As if on cue, both women spoke at the same time.  
  
"Hey..." "Do..." Both laughed at themselves. Olivia spoke up first.  
  
"Can I get a sip of my cappuccino?"  
  
Without replying, Casey took the cup and held it to the detective's mouth. "Sorry," Casey apologized when she spilled a little of the drink on the other woman. "Here, let me get that." She grabbed a napkin from the box and wiped the spill off Olivia. Their eyes met for what seemed like eternity before Olivia broke their gaze.  
  
"Better get back soon or else Fin's gonna chew Munch's ass out." Olivia joked.  
  
Casey winced at the image. "That would not be a pretty sight, I'd imagine."  
  
When both women returned to the station, the rest of the squad was more than happy to see them - or rather the food that they were now handing out. In between bites of her turkey sandwich, Casey turned to the captain.  
  
"So this is really over? We've got enough to put him away?"  
  
Cragen put down his sandwich and wiped his mouth. "No doubt we got the right guy. We've got his prints at the scene of the crime, testimonies from witnesses and the evidence from the search. I suppose you would want to file an RO against him?"  
  
"That was what I had in mind." Casey was glad that it was finally over. The events of the last 24 hours or so had taken a toll on the ADA. All she wanted to do now was to slip under the covers and sleep her fears away. Whether Olivia would be sleeping next to her was a different story. As if reading the ADA's mind, Olivia got up and packed her things.  
  
"Leaving so soon, Benson?" Munch asked.  
  
"Yeah. Since they're still working on my apartment I thought I'd crash at the crib tonight," Olivia said exhaustedly. "I'm just gonna go home to grab some stuff but I'll be back."  
  
Cragen and Casey looked at each other briefly, Casey's eyes silently pleading the captain to come up with something. He didn't know what to do. 'When in doubt, stick to work.' Cragen told himself.  
  
"Speaking of which, Casey, we changed the locks on your apartment. You can go home if you want," Cragen headed back to his office to retrieve the keys. "Here you go."  
  
Casey wasn't sure why she turned to the captain just then. Something told her that he would understand. However, her thoughts were distracted when she realized Olivia was already out of the door. She quickly threw away what was left of the sandwich and bade her farewell to the detectives before dashing out of the station in hopes that Olivia had not left the parking lot.   
  
"Olivia, wait up!" Casey called out to the brunette detective. She had to mentally prepare herself. 'Ok Cassandra Emily Novak. This is your chance, don't blow it.' As she approached the detective she was certain her heart was about ready to leap out of her any time soon. "Hey Liv."  
  
"Anything I can do for you, Counselor?" Olivia tried to sound professional.  
  
"Nothing pressing. Just thought you might like some company." Casey felt air was being sucked out of her. She couldn't figure out the detective's icy tone. 'Can't turn back now, Novak.' Casey stood there and waited while the detective contemplated on the invitation.  
  
Olivia knew her words did not come out the way she had intended to. She looked at the tall redhead standing in front of her, trying to gauge what the woman was not saying. As if lightning struck, she finally understood the remark for what it was. It wasn't a mere invitation, but rather a silent cry of help. "Would you like *my* company tonight, Case?"  
  
"I certainly would love your company," Casey tried to hide her blush. "I'd sleep a whole lot better knowing that New York's finest is just a whisper away," She could see the detective was still undecided. "Besides, your apartment is still not ready yet. You don't really want to sleep at the crib tonight, do you?"  
  
Olivia let out a small laugh as she remembered what Casey said about the crib. "Heaven forbid, no. Not when there's a comfortable couch, clean sheets and heat offered." Casey smiled.  
  
"Well I'm not sure if you want to take the couch when you can share the bed with me."   
  
The detective ignored the last remark. "I'll take the couch, but thanks for the offer." For some reason she didn't want to mislead the redhead, but there was something else that was drawing her to the temptation. Years of being a cop told her that there was something else in the invitation.   
  
"Olivia?"   
  
"Huh, sorry. I just need to go over my place to get some of my stuff. I'll meet you back at your place in say, half an hour?"  
  
"Sure. That'll give me enough time to clear the skeletons out of my closet."   
  
Olivia laughed at the redhead. She knew Casey was using humor to cover whatever fears she might be having. She silently hoped that whatever battle Casey was fighting, she could help her get through it. 'That's what friends are for,' she thought. "See you in a bit then." With that, she climbed into the sedan.  
  
Watching Olivia leave always troubled Casey. She feared that it would be the last time that she would see the stunning detective again. 'It comes with the badge, silly.' Casey tried to talk herself out of her fears, but with each passing moment she seemed more worked up than before. 'This is crazy.' She walked towards her car and headed home.   
  
Standing in front of her apartment door, Casey hesitated. Her hand was on the doorknob, the key sitting in its place. She took a deep breath and opened the door. Casey stood next to the couch and thought, 'everything's the same.' And that's when it happened. Visions of the previous night came crashing back. She let out a scream while holding her hands to her ears and closed her eyes.   
  
"Go away!" she shouted to the invisible demon as tears started flowing down her cheeks. Olivia heard the shouts when she got out of the car. Her first instinct was to get to Casey. Taking two steps at a time, she hurried to the ADA's apartment, only to find the door ajar.   
  
"Casey?"   
  
With her gun drawn, Olivia surveyed the hallway. 'All clear.' she calmed herself down. She opened the door slowly but stopped when she heard a voice. Gripping her gun even tighter, she swallowed hard and took a step forward. All she saw in the room was a visibly shaken ADA crouched on the floor by the couch, rocking her body back and forth while tears flowed freely down her cheek.   
  
"Casey are you hurt?" Olivia could feel her heart break at the sight of the broken woman in front of her. Casey shook her head, not wanting to speak. "Stay right here." Before Olivia could move away, Casey grabbed her arm.  
  
"Please don't leave me alone, Liv."  
  
"Don't worry, I'm just going to lock the door. I'm not going anywhere," Olivia took Casey's hand and helped her get to the couch. "I'll be right back," Putting her gun back in its holster, Olivia locked the door and headed to the kitchen to get a drink for the ADA. "Here, take a sip. You'll feel better." Casey greedily drank the entire contents.  
  
"Thanks, Liv," Casey wasn't shaking like she was moments ago, but she was still unsteady. "For everything." She honestly did not know what else to say to the detective. As verbose as a lawyer can be, Casey was speechless.  
  
"Don't mention it. Besides, that's the least I can do, since I'll be taking over your couch tonight," Olivia felt better when she saw the ADA smile again. She sat down next to Casey and placed her arm around the woman, wanting only to reassure the redhead. 


	9. promises

Disclaimer: Again, I do not own any of the characters, brands name and such. I only own my active imagination, and a whole lot of free time.   
  
* Indicates emphasis on the word(s).  
  
' ' Indicates thought. I decided to add it in to avoid confusion.  
  
Review is much appreciated.  
  
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The detective sighed while she gently stroked Casey's silky locks on her shoulders. 'It never gets any easier.' Olivia took a deep breath to silence her thoughts but she was interrupted when she heard sobs. "Shhh, it's ok. I'm here." It was never easy on Olivia seeing a victim's tears, let alone someone that she had gotten close with. Her hand was rubbing the ADA's back, trying to make the other woman as comfortable as possible.  
  
Only after what seemed like a long time only did Casey move. Olivia flashed her a smile, and that was enough to send Casey's heart beating overtime. Casey reluctantly let go of the detective and stood up. "Look at me. I'm such a terrible host." Olivia's hand on her forearm stopped her.   
  
"Hey, it's ok. Don't worry about it. Feeling better now?" Casey was touched by the genuine tone in Olivia's voice.   
  
"Much better. You want something to drink?" Her eyes wandered to the small opening at the top of Olivia's button-down shirt. She realized that she was in danger of staring, so she headed to the kitchen. 'Might as well just broadcast it in the 6 o'clock news.'  
  
Olivia followed the other woman to the kitchen. She was still worried about Casey, and the sudden change of tone had confirmed her suspicions. She watched as the redhead opened a bottle of Cabernet and poured it out for the both of them. Casey could feel the shot of excitement run through her body as Olivia's arm brushed past her. Breathing a little harder now, Casey let the touch linger a little longer than it should have. Olivia ignored the tingle that was running through her body and moved past the other woman to pick up the wine glass. Casey shook herself to shrug off her wandering thoughts and followed Olivia to the living room.  
  
As the full-bodied wine lingered in her mouth Casey could feel the clouds of stress being lifted away from her. Sitting not too far away, Olivia was watching the redhead closely. She noticed the pain still swimming in the cinnamon brown eyes, but she wasn't about to push the other woman unless the timing was right.  
  
"Thanks for coming over, Liv. I really could use some company tonight."  
  
"I should be the one thanking you, Casey. You saved me from the demonic grasp of the crib." Casey chuckled at the remark. "So I take it you're feeling better then?"  
  
Casey steadied herself on the couch. 'This is your window of opportunity, Novak. Don't blow it.' She straightened herself and turned to face the detective.  
  
"Um actually I'm not." Her stomach did a 360 degrees flip when she saw the detective's concerned expression. 'Just get it over with, Novak.' Casey swallowed hard before she continued.  
  
"Olivia, we've known each other for what, a year? I know we don't exactly see eye to eye at times but I just want you to know that I do cherish your opinions," Casey cleared her suddenly dry throat. "I consider you my friend and I really enjoy our after-work chats," Casey stammered. 'Damn it, it sounded so much better in my head.' She took a deep breath before continuing. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'd like to see you more often. On a more personal basis."  
  
The detective stared at the redhead as though she was speaking in Swahili. It was obvious that the confession had caught the detective by surprise, and she looked very much like a deer caught in the headlights.  
  
'Damn it. I suck.' Casey's mind was racing. 'What do I do now?' Olivia's reaction was not one that she had been hoping for.  
  
"It helps if you say something, you know." Casey finally gave her uncertainty a voice.  
  
"Um. Wow. I don't know what to say, Casey. I really don't. You took me by surprise, that's all."  
  
Casey let out a small breath. Her thoughts were threatening to drive her over the edge. Casey wasn't sure of what to do or say, so she just sat and drank her wine in silence.   
  
Olivia kept her expression neutral while she contemplated on a suitable answer. She put down the wine glass and finally spoke up. "I am flattered that you feel this way about me. I really like you, Casey. It's just..." Before Olivia could finish, Casey cut her off.  
  
"I understand," Casey said quietly. "You don't have to explain it to me." She felt pieces of her heart falling like rain drops on a warm and wet July evening.   
  
"I don't think you do," Olivia's voice was softer now, as if it would soften the blow. "It's not that I don't want to, but I don't think I'm ready for a relationship yet. The last relationship that I was in...well it ended rather abruptly."  
  
"So what are you saying, Liv?" Casey was getting impatient.  
  
"Give me some time," Olivia said as she turned to face the other woman. She didn't have the heart to tell Casey that she would always be in Alex's shadow in both their professional and personal lives. Her conscience was waging a war inside her head. Olivia didn't want to hurt the other woman, but she felt the urging need to comfort the ADA. However, the war was lost the moment she finally answered. "I'll try, but no promises."  
  
Casey felt herself breathing again. It wasn't much, but it was better than nothing. Olivia reached out for the redhead's hand and squeezed it gently. The reassurance was more intimate than anything Casey had ever experienced. Olivia's compassionate yet professional personality had drawn Casey to her like a bee to honey and she couldn't stay away from the detective.  
  
"Ok." was all Casey could come up with. She did not trust herself to speak. She was afraid that if she had said more she would mess things up.   
  
"So," Olivia knew the timing was right. "How *did* you get to know Hall?"  
  
Casey flinched at the sound of that name. "He, um, saved me from a close call once. I was walking home after a party one night and some guy tried to attack me from behind. I managed to nail his nose with my elbow before Jon saw what had happened and came over to help. Stayed with me till the police got there."  
  
Olivia's hands gently covered Casey's as she listened to the redhead. Her deep brown eyes held neither accusation nor pity, only love. And it was with that loving that Casey had the strength to carry on.  
  
"Ever since then he walked me to class, made sure I got home safely before he went home. You know, stuff that overprotective big brothers do," Casey felt Olivia's gaze scanning her face for signs of uneasiness. "We were never an item, if that's what you're wondering. After graduation I got a job and moved here. He graduated a semester after me and moved to Long Island."  
  
The weight of the whole situation finally set in, and the tears that Casey thought had dried up moistened her cheeks once again. She felt betrayed, even violated.   
  
The brunette reached over to wipe away Casey's tears. Her heart wrenched at the distraught sight of the ADA. Olivia was used to see the strong, professional facade of the other woman, not the fragile, unstable condition that Casey was in right now.  
  
"Hey, it's ok. We got him now. He's not going to be able to hurt you anymore, okay?" Olivia tried her best to convince the other woman.  
  
"Is it really though, Liv? We both know that New York hasn't got a stalking law. He's gonna be out before the next snowstorm hits the East Coast." Casey was getting a little frustrated. Not at the brunette, the gloomy winter, or even the intricacy of the law, but at herself. Her emotional state had become so unstable over the last 24 hours that she did not feel like herself anymore. The fact that she was just inches apart from Olivia did not help much either.  
  
"You don't think the DA's office is gonna take this lying down, do you? You're an officer of the law, for Christ's sake. Not to mention that you're part of SVU as well, Case. We're all not gonna just sit around and dunk donuts in our coffee while the psycho continues to breath the same air as you."  
  
Casey let out a chuckle in between sobs. The image of Fin eating a donut while Munch mouths off about the conspiracy in the Halliburton scandal broke the solemn-filled air in the room. Seeing Casey smile again made Olivia feel a little better. She pulled the redhead closer for a hug and remained there several minutes before she pulled back to face Casey.  
  
"I'm sure there's a loophole somewhere that we haven't found," Olivia said, her eyes holding the other woman's gaze. "When we do, we'll put him away. *That's* a promise."  
  
Casey wasn't sure which side of Olivia she loved more, the strong, capable professional side of Olivia or the person behind the detective facade. She came to the conclusion that it didn't matter, because she needed Olivia more than she would like to admit. Olivia could shred her control with just a whisper or even a touch, and the feeling was new to Casey. Not being in control made Casey nervous.  
  
"Thanks for getting in my face just now. Lord knows I needed it."   
  
"You're welcome."   
  
Both women spent the rest of the night talking. Casey tried to explain to Olivia the allure of softball while the detective tried to stay awake. Soon however, there was no more talking. Olivia had fallen asleep with Casey still in her arms. Not wanting to wake her up, Casey pulled a blanket over the both of them and gently kissed Olivia's cheek before she drifted away into the comfort of slumber.  
  
Six months later  
  
"You need to take a step back, Detective Benson," Casey's angry voice blared through the observation room. "Either you come up with new evidence or we'll have to let him go."  
  
'Let him go...' Olivia struggled to keep her mind straight. She took a deep breath and counted to ten. "We've nailed others with fewer evidence than this, ADA Novak. Surely there's a way we can do the same here too."  
  
Casey shook her head. "Not unless we get a confession from him." She could see the other woman was boiling with rage inside, even though on the outside Olivia appeared cool and calm. 'Bubble bath,' her mind drifted away for a moment. "You've got three options. Either you get a confession out of him, get more evidence or let him go."  
  
Olivia heard the finality in the ADA's tone. She knew it wasn't Casey's fault, and she was wrong to take it out on her. Olivia walked out of the observation room and headed towards her desk. Everyone seemed to have caught on her bad mood and had avoided her today. They didn't want to be at the receiving end of Olivia's tongue-lash. The last victim was a young detective named Kenny Briscoe, and the poor guy still flinched every time Olivia walked by.  
  
"Benson, in my office. Now," Cragen called out to her. Before she could even speak, he held up his hands to stop her. "What the hell was that all about?"  
  
"Sorry Cap, won't happen again." Olivia has been working for the last 36 hours straight and the last thing she wanted to do was to explain herself extensively to her boss.  
  
"I don't know what's gotten into the both of you but you better sort it out before it gets out of hand," Cragen continued. "Grab Munch and go over the evidence again. Go back to the apartment again if you have to. You have three hours before he gets out."  
  
"Thanks for the heads up, Cap."   
  
An hour later, they found what they were looking for. The perp had left his fingerprints on a piece of evidence that was previously overlooked. 'Damn Tech boys,' Olivia scowled. She let out a sigh of relief when she brought the good news back to the station, and Elliot was the first to congratulate her. He too had been working for 36 hours straight, and his crumpled shirt was evidence of that. Elliot was interrogating the perp while Olivia did most of the legwork.  
  
"Boy am I glad *that's* over."   
  
"Yeah, so am I. One less psychopath off the streets," she said.  
  
"You heading home, Liv?" Elliot said as he collected his belongings from the locker.  
  
"In a bit. I wanna finish up this report first before I go."  
  
"Ok, don't stay up too late." Elliot silently wished that his partner would spend a little more time away from their work, but he knew her too well.   
  
Olivia waved her goodbye and soon was engulfed in the report. The squad room was empty except for her. Even Cragen had gone home for the night. She jumped when she heard footsteps approaching.   
  
"Uh Detective Olivia Benson?" The young man holding a stem of red rose asked.  
  
"That's me." Olivia was puzzled. She couldn't figure out who would send her flowers, let alone just one.  
  
"Sign here please," he handed her a pen. After Olivia signed the sheet he handed her a card. "Thanks."  
  
Olivia hesitated before opening the card. Her heart raced a million times. 'Could it be...it couldn't be. I haven't heard from her since...' Olivia's thoughts trailed off. She needed to know. Slowly she opened the card.   
  
"Bubble bath."   
  
She found herself disappointed when she realized it was Casey's handwriting. Olivia slumped down into her chair. She was tired, not just physically but emotionally as well. She thought that she could finally let go of Alex, but she was wrong. Every moment spent with the redhead only made Olivia ache for the tall blonde even more. She had to make a decision. Carry on with Casey and lie to both of them or come clean with the other woman. After the voices inside her head had subsided, Olivia left the stationhouse.   
  
Meanwhile in Upper East Side, the ADA was pacing mindlessly in her living room. 'Will she come?' She couldn't bear the thought of not seeing Olivia. They both have been at odds with each other for the past six months. They would disagree on something from work and would argue until one, usually Casey, would give in. They spent more time arguing when they were together than snuggling with each other. Today's disagreement in the observation room was no different than the ones they have when the other detectives are around. Somehow Casey felt that something wasn't right.  
  
"God I miss her so much already." Casey said out loud. She took one last sip of her wine before she grabbed her cell phone.  
  
Olivia's mind was clouded with thoughts while she drove away from the stationhouse. She contemplated on the outcome if she told Casey the truth. She considered briefly not telling the redhead, but she couldn't stomach the fact that she had lied to her. Over the past six months that they had gotten together, Olivia could see some changes in herself. She had slowly opened up to Casey, although she still kept her distance. She wasn't exactly head over heels for the other woman, but she couldn't function without thinking of the other woman at least once during the day. Before, Olivia had shouldered everything that the world threw at her but now, she had Casey to share it with. Good or bad, Casey always stuck by her side. As the car idled at a stoplight, Olivia's cell phone rang.  
  
"Benson." She barked into the phone, irritated at the interruption.  
  
"Hello to you too." Olivia's heart skipped a beat at the sound of the greeting. Tears flowed down her cheeks. A myriad of faces floated inside her head, but only one matched the sultry voice she had wanted to hear all along.   
  
"Alex?"  
  
FIN 


End file.
